Saturday, November 29, 2008

Rosie O'Donnell, Milie Cyrus, et al

I like Rosie O’Donnell, not for her singing, not for her political and social stances, mostly because she seems to be worthy of liking. Rosie lets so much of her self hang out there that it’s impossible not to get the feeling that you really know her.

That being said, I have to admit I’m not a big fan of her singing. I mean it’s nice that she likes music and Broadway and all that – I’m glad she finds enjoyment in it; but, let’s face it, she’s not exactly brimming with musical talent.

Soooo, the first thing I said to my wife when she came out of the box singing with Liza Minelli was “I hope that’s it for the singing.” Unfortunately, it wasn’t. I realize that her singing with a variety of guests was probably there from the beginning in her dreams of getting this show on the air, but sometimes we have to face the fact that we are not infallible and that all ideas should be open to modification. In other words, give us a freakin’ break!

Moving along, I would like to be the first to suggest that next years AMA Show be broadcast on Nickelodeon. Do adults really care who the nation’s fruit loops munching teenie boppers are voting for? And for all the winners who are “cherishing” their awards, get over it – they’re meaningless.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Numbers: The Square Root of 625

The square root of 625 is 25. It’s something I committed to memory a long time ago so I could throw it out there every once in a while to impress people with my mathematical knowledge. I know – that makes me a phony. Big whoop. Similarly, I memorized Bill Shakespeare’s sonnet number 18: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? / Thou art more lovely and more temperate… blah blah blah. Bigger whoop.

Anyway, as a kid I did have an aptitude for numbers which is why, I’m guessing, I still watch CBS’s prime time series Numbers. I mean, it can’t have anything to do with the quality of the show because usually the shows aren’t that hot. And the graphic illustrations of the mathematical principles involved which have evolved from blackboard explanations to video game pop-ups serve only to annoy me.

I know what you’re thinking – why in hell are you still watching it? Like I said, it’s the numbers and math thing. I suspect that deep inside I live with the hope that one day I’ll actually understand one of Charlie Eppes’s explanation. Like this one:

"Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Heisenberg noted that the act of observation will effect the observed; in other words, when you watch something, you change it, and uh, uh, for example, an electron, you know, you can't really measure it without bumping into it in some small way. Any physical act of observation requires interaction with a form of energy, like light, and that will change the nature of the electron, its path of travel."

And then there are the characters’ personal relationships and conflicts which I usually find more interesting than whatever crime the team is trying to solve.

Oh, and in case you didn’t know, the square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

Monday, November 10, 2008

And I Thought I Had It Bad

Call it karma.

A fly, pure and innocent, was buzzing around DJ’s pool room a couple months ago, enjoying the sights and smells and tastes, as flies often do, when it had the misfortune of landing on the table I was playing on. Automatically, almost instinctively, I slithered up to the table and with a quick, deft slap I killed my prey. I was proud. Not that long before, in similar circumstances, one of this bug’s brethren had landed on a bar table I was playing on. Without much forethought, I simply reversed my stick and bopped the bug into oblivion with the butt of my cue. That, however, had been a lucky shot – one in a million; this latest achievement had been a demonstration of speed of hand, a sign that at sixty-one I still had it.

All the glorious feelings dissipated next day when I was forced to deal with a fierce pain in my wrist that was aggravated by the tiniest of movements, like picking up my toothbrush. I nursed it for a couple days, the pain disappeared, and I eventually forgot all about it. Then I started lifting my weights again and before I knew it the pain in my wrist was not only back, it was much worse than it had been initially. Yesterday, at WalMart, I picked up a wrist stabilizer like the ones those suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome wear. Problems, problems.

Then, yesterday, I was contacted by Bloggers Unite regarding the Refugees Unite campaign. After reading some of the reference material, it became clear that there are millions of people out there who are suffering from real problems, problems that make mine look silly.

To learn more about the worldwide suffering of refugees, go here:


Thursday, November 6, 2008

Homage To Jerry Maguire

It’s not like I’m the first guy who appropriated a line from the movie Jerry Maguire. My wife recently told me that a wine-loving friend of hers in Montana has a t-shirt that sports the slogan “You had me at Merlot” which is what, incidentally, got me thinking along those lines.

Jerry Maguire ranks up there among my all-time favorite movies, with movies like Heaven Can Wait, As Good As It Gets, An American President, Dave, Shawshank Redemption, and Freeway, just to name a few. I’ve seen it at least ten times, probably more.

“You complete me,” “Show me the money,” “I won't let you get rid of me” – the movie contains memorable lines galore. “You had me at hello” has always been a personal favorite of mine so it’s with great pleasure that I introduce my latest pool t-shirt design - You had me at high-low. I think this one is number 7 in the series.

With Christmas coming, you'll probably want to order a dozen. You'll find them and other pool tees here.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Some Listless TV

We caught one episode of The Ex-List and we won’t be lamenting CBS’s decision to cancel it. However, we love the network’s other List show, The Mentalist, starring Simon Baker. Baker, you may remember, also starred as Nick Falin in The Guardian which we enjoyed until the writers in an attempt to spice it up ultimately destroyed it. The show’s plot took too many left turns and eventually crashed into itself. I still wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what happened to Baker’s love interest, Lulu.

Sticking with CBS, Criminal Minds, CSI New York, the original CSI and Cold Case are still among our favorites. CSI Miami, as I’ve mentioned before, has become expendable. I’ll be interested in seeing how Laurence Fishburne fits into CSI when he joins the cast in December. When it comes to my TV shows, I generally don’t like changes.

Since I have no other forum in which to voice my disdain for the commissioner of the Yahoo! Fantasy Basketball League Philly Basketball (ID# 93185) allow me here to proclaim that he’s an asshole. After a trade between the owner of Philly Phorce and I was vetoed, we voiced our outrage and were unceremoniously expelled from the league. It’s not like we were trading Kobe Bryant for Jessica Simpson – the trade involved two lesser players, Quentin Richardson for Linas Kleiza. The commissioner, a third-class wuss, tried to throw the blame on other owners when it was actually him who put the kibosh to our trade. Like many weaklings, they can be quite bold when they think they’re protected by a degree of anonymity. I, however, am busily trying to ID him. He’s got my Italian blood boiling and I’m not about to cool off.