My Colonoscopy: Unpleasant and More Unpleasant

Colonoscopies are not fun. I don't think CBS newsman Harry Smith who had one performed live on The Early Show last year would disagree with me there. His on-air procedure was his second; my recently performed colonoscopy was my third or fourth. I remembering Harry observing that the only "pain in the neck" about the experience was the prep the patient has to endure the night before which consists of drinking a lot of stuff that's designed to flush out your colon. I agree. Usually, you get knocked out by an anaesthetist and when you open your eyes, it's over and you're in recovery. The doc comes over, tells you how you fared, then, relieved that you won't have to go through that again for four or five years, you get the hell out of there and go find something to eat.

At least, that had been my experience prior to last Friday's adventure at Bayonet Point Surgery and Endoscopy Center. As usual, the anesthesiologist injected a cocktail of drugs into my IV and the next thing I know I was waking up in recovery. But, as I awakened, I became aware that the roof of my mouth was sore. As the anesthesia wore off, the pain increased and expanded to the point that my teeth and jaw were also hurting. When I got home, I discovered it was too painful to eat regular food and I had to limit myself to soft foods for five days.

Before I left Bayonet Point Surgery and Endoscopy Center on Friday I had asked the girl who was in charge of releasing me about the pain in my mouth but she said she had no idea what went on during the procedure. On Monday, when someone from the center called to see how I was doing, I reported the lingering pain in my mouth and the difficulties I was having eating. This girl said at times it might be necessary to shove something in a patient's mouth to aid his breathing while he's under anesthesia, but she did not know if that had been necessary in my case.

Well, I would like to know. And I would like to know what the urgency was that made it necessary to shove the damn thing in there in such a brutal and sadistic manner rather than inserting it gently so that there would be no lasting effects.

I'm just saying, a colonoscopy, by nature, is an unpleasant experience. Why go out of your way to make it more unpleasant.