Hip-Hop Grandma and Grandpa

We’re white, we’re in our sixties, and we love hip-hop. Not that I’ve gone out and bought “B.o.B Presents: The Adventures of Bobby Ray,” I haven’t. But I could listen to B.o.B.’s “Nuthin on You” all day long. “Nut nut nuthin, got nuthin’ on you.” I guess you could say that’s the song I’m most into now. Not long ago it was Jay-Z’s Empire State of Mind. Though it’s not played as frequently as it once was, I’m still not tired of hearing it.

I used to listen almost exclusively to 97.1 FM or 97X, billed as “Tampa Bay’s New Rock Alternative” but there’s little new a bout the music they play and nothing fresh. On any given day, they’ll play Nirvana, Everclear, and the same Killer’s songs they’ve been playing for the last several years. I happened to be listening the other day and they were playing “Somebody Told Me.” How long has that song been around? I mean, if you’re going for nostalgia, why not call yourself an oldies station, not the new rock alternative.

Anyway, back to my wife and I. Not too long ago we were both groovin’ on a recent release by Ludacris. You know it – the voice that belts out the refrain sounds like one of David Seville’s chipmonks. One day, I was rappin’ along with the radio – “I love cookie dough, I love cookie dough. I love cookie dough, I love cookie dough” – when my wife corrected me. “It’s ‘I love Pinky Toe,’” she said. We had an ongoing dialog about it for a week of two. I was actually willing to give in since my hearing isn’t what it once was, but one day I went to google and found out that the actual lyric is “How low can you go.” No love. No cookies. And, no pinky toes.

In retrospect, I find it perfectly logical that someone might love cookie dough. I mean “Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough” is one of Ben and Jerry’s most popular flavors. On the other hand, the love of pinky toes seems to indicate something kinky’s at work in my darling wife’s subconscious.

This morning, we had a discussion about a Black Eyed Peas cut, I Gotta Fillin’. My girl insists it’s about dental work. “You know how proud these kids are about their grills,” she explains. “Yeah, I know,” I say, not wanting to antagonize her. Still, I don’t equate going to the dentist, even a grill specialist, with having a good good night. Sorry.

Inaugural Post: 97X FM - Something Good About Radio

Historically speaking, there’s plenty to rant about when it comes to the local media. Consider, for instance, the assassination of Gemma Gaudette by Tampa Bay 10, the recent decision by the same CBS affiliate not to broadcast the men’s finals of the US Tennis Open after airing for two weeks the matches that led up to it, NBC News Channel 8’s infamous mind-boggling storm team alert that preempted a critical Tiger Woods record-shattering putt, as well as numerous other broadcasting atrocities. Still, I thought I’d dedicate my inaugural post to something positive, my favorite radio station 97X, “Tampa Bay’s New Rock Alternative.”

Around 6:15 every morning, with one sweeping motion, I hit the “on” buttons of my PC and my GE radio (in the interest of full disclosure, I confess to owning 300 shares of GE which I plan on holding on to for at least a couple years). I’ve had the radio which I bought at a garage sale in northwest Montana for $5 for at least 10 years. It’s a little quirky, but after a few seconds of sputtering I’m soon listening to my morning companions, Fisher & Boy & Danielle.

The Morning X is a local program, not a generic syndication hosted by Billy Bob and his cousin Clem. The sun that shines on Fisher and Boy is the same sun that shines on me when I take a break around 7:30 and make 4 circuits on my bike around the old fogies’ trailer park where I reside. Though they insist their sole purpose is to entertain, I don’t see them as merely entertainers. Enough of their real selves has leaked out over the years, that I, and hoards of other faithful listeners, have come to look at Fisher & Boy &, now, Danielle, as friends and, maybe, even family. They’re good kids. I think I can call them kids. If I had grandchildren, they’d be Boy’s and Danielle’s age, and Fisher is 6 years younger than my daughter.

I called in one day when the discussion was about bad experiences with sports celebrities. I told them about a run-in I had had with former NY Yankee Joe Pepitone at Newark Airport in New Jersey. As a limo driver waiting for a fair to come off the plane, I was standing in the terminal with my sign when who should I see coming down the chute but Joe Pepitone. As any lifelong Yankees fan would be, I was thrilled. On he came, straight toward me. When he finally stopped about 4 feet in front of me, I said “Hi Joe.” He looked to his right, then looked to his left, and, without so much as acknowledging my existence, he boogied on down the road. Screw Joe Pepitone. Anyway, they liked the story and for a while they referred to me as their oldest listener. Since then a few imposters have called in and laid claim to that title but I think everyone knows they’re full of crap. I don’t call in very often – I’m usually too busy with my websites – but I do fire off an occasional email. More often than not, they get back to me.

Among my favorite features are those that include the hosts’ families. Fish’s dad and Mrs. Kushner (Boy’s mom) are beyond hilarious without trying to be. You can add to them Boy’s brother Brett, the NFL prognosticator who in all fairness is about as wrong as all the other professional touters out there. As of this writing, Boy and night-time DJ Phoebe are an item. They’re a nice couple and I’m hoping they stay happy. While his love-life has had its ups and downs, in spite of himself, Fisher has also landed himself a gf. Romantic devil, recently when there was a shortage of seats at the movie theater, he pulled a you-sit-over-there-and-I’ll-sit-here on her and left her to watch the flick alone. Gotta love him.

Yes, the kids have flaws. Even I find myself at odds with them on occasion. Like, when that global Earth Day Concert was held. You remember, super groups were lined up at different venues all around the world and the broadcast included little vignettes about ways we can help the cause. Well, next day, the kids were acting like it was a bunch of hooey. In all honesty, that irked me a little because all the things that I’ve done like switch to those neon bulbs and swearing off paper plates was done, not for me who’s gonna go tits up one way or the other in a few years, but for them and people of their generation. But, I understood and I understand. Kids will be kids.

Anyway, even though they are wrong once in a while, I like them – they’re like family. If you’re sick of the monotonous patter of the other stations, try the X – meet my friends - you’ll be glad you did.