Foxy Ladies

Uppy – that’s my wife, the former Cynthia Uppington-Smythe – was in a tizzy when she clicked on our local ABC affiliate, channel 11, a couple weeks back at 10 AM and did not find Martha Stewart. I pledged to get to the bottom of this outrageous caper and within a couple days discovered that Martha would be premiering her new season on channel 13, Fox, at 11 AM the following Monday. Thank goodness. I hate for Uppy to suffer even the tiniest disappointment. What’s good about the new time slot is it puts the “good thing” up against Whoopi and Company’s “View” and the Bob Barkerless “Price Is Right,” and offers midday viewers something that’s a little more palatable to go along with their lunches.

Fox is also the home of two of my favorite returns from last season, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” and “Bones.” (That reminds me… did you hear Heidi Klum refer to the show as “The Bones” the other night at the Emmies? I’m going to go out on a limb, here, and say I don’t think Heidi’s a regular viewer.)

I’ve read a few negative comments and reviews about T: TSCC that propose the show is somehow lacking and in need of another element. Bulllloney! The show is great just the way it is. Sarah, John and Cameron are living on the edge, always on the brink of disaster. I don’t see how a plot could want more tension and anxiety.

Bones is another great show. I’ve read a few of Kathy Reichs novels. They’re okay but their protagonist is far less original than the Temperance Brennan of the TV series.

Those – Martha, Sarah & Tempe – are my foxy ladies. Who did you think I was referring to? Paula Abdul?

The Lopsided View

If you missed John McCain’s appearance on the view on Friday, September 12, you didn’t miss much. As you might expect, Whoopi, Barbara, Joy, and that new fat-girl-in-need-of-a-breast-reduction, Sherri, displayed attitudes and temperaments much more malignant than those bubbly facades they presented to his holiness, Mr. Walk-On-Water, Barack Obama and his lovely wife when they appeared on the show. This difference would be understandable if John McCain had been responsible for slavery, the holocaust, Pearl Harbor, and 9-11. But, my research indicates he wasn’t. The good Senator’s only offense is that he has the audacity to run against their beloved boy Barack.

Historically, the view’s proscribed treatment of guests has been deliberately non-offensive. Obviously, Barbara Walters is afraid of offending anyone she might someday want to interview on one of those specials she makes that I have never been inclined to watch. This time, however, the head Viewmeister, the woman who used to cringe whenever Rosie O’Donnell said anything negative about anybody, threw caution to the wind and grilled presidential hopeful McCain with all the tact of Detective Andy Sipowicz.

And, really, despite her constant claims of being the first female anchor woman (the only thing that has been more often repeated are promos of her recent book, which I will not name, but which supposedly details her appetite for men of African lineage – surprise, surprise), at this stage can anyone honestly consider her even an approximation of a journalist? I think not. As for the others on the panel whose absurd rationalizations and defenses of all things Obama has been the overriding theme of all recent shows, they have yet to prove that they have a minimum of intelligence. Last season’s behind-the-scenes show revealed that even Joy Behar’s apparent ad lib jokes were written by the show’s writers.

The Boston Herald reported that during a commercial break, Barbara Walters asked the audience if “The View” cohosts were being too rough on McCain. Allegedly, the crowd stood in unison and shouted “No.”

She should have asked my neighbor, Helen Murchison. A lifelong Democrat and a Hillary supporter, she told me that after she saw the show she went online and contributed $25 to the McCain campaign.

I doubt that’s the kind of reaction Whoopi and company were hoping for.