I'm not a fanatic about my lawn, but I do care about it and have fallen into a pattern that has rewarded me with a pretty nice yard, much better than most of my neighbors. Like, in early spring, I hit it with Weed Be Gone, once, sometimes twice. Then, if any bare spots appear, I rake them clear. If they're not too big, I can count on the surrounding grass to fill those spots in when the rains come, especially after I fertilize. That's how things were going this year. In fact, I was feeling pretty good about the lawn - it was green, there were only a couple small bare spots, and I had just applied some Scotts Turf Builder.
Then I come out of the house one day and find the bug guy going back to his truck with a spreader. "What were you spreadin'?" I ask. Without getting specific he answered fertilizer combined with some kind of insecticide. Somewhere along the line, the bug people had volunteered to be my lawn people, too. They never asked me if I wanted them to do that, they did it on their own so they could come more often and make more money off me. I told him I had just fertilized myself a few days before but that brought no reaction, even though it's possible that too much fertilizer can cause fertilizer burn. He just left his bill and took off.
Now, let me reiterate the day I spotted him with his spreader my lawn was green. I didn't think to take any "before" pictures because, at the time, I didn't realize there was going to be an "after." Suffice it to say the overall impression one got upon looking at my lawn was this:
Two weeks later, I began to notice some yellow patches appearing here and there. Three weeks later, I had a mostly dead lawn. Here's some pics:
East of the Trailer - Not Green
North Side Rear - Nope, Not Green
North Side Front - No Longer Green
West Side - Dying Fast
South - Dead
Well, to tell the truth, and I told the girl at ABC Pest Control in New Port Richey, FL, the same thing, the lawn looked like someone had sprayed it with Round-Up. "We don't use Round-Up," she replied. "I'm just telling you what it looks like," I said. Finally, she said she'd have someone come out and look at my lawn. Unfortunately, he came the morning I had a doctor's appointment and, though I got home by 9 AM, he was already in the wind. Below, find the form he left me.
Here's what he said: "Areas of drought and some winter weed dieing. (on their own) out such as carpet grass. (etc) I advise rake out and put down (Bahia Seed. Keep) watered -" Below, he added "As you Travel Thru out the park you will see simular. In other lawns." [Misplaced periods, misused parentheses, misspellings and grammatical deficiencies have not been corrected. I'd like you to see for yourselves the quality and brain power of the dude they sent out to view my lawn.]
Of course, having been dealing with this lawn since we moved here in 2000, I had a much better idea of what was going on with my lawn than he had. Fact is, even though I had two or three different kinds of grass growing, I didn't care. It was my lawn, it was green - I was happy with it. Plus, I ride around the park on my bike every day and am perfectly aware of the sorry state of many of the lawns. The thing is, mine was fine! My was not burnt up, mine was not brown like theirs - IT WAS GREEN! Besides, I hired these guys for pest control. What in hell makes them think I want them screwing around with my lawn? I called the office and voiced my displeasure to the girl who answered the phone. She had the guy who had come out give me a call. He repeated what he had written on the form, concluding that his company had done nothing to destroy my yard. Trying to make it simple for him, I repeated my position - my lawn was green when your man spread his chemicals on it, now, it's yellow, it's brown, and totally burnt. He didn't want to hear it.
I imagine if I lived down in Trinity or some other relatively affluent community the company would have been more accommodating But, since I reside in a 55 plus mobile home park, he couldn't care less that his company destroyed my lawn. Fine. I mean we all make snap judgments, don't we. For instance, he thinks people who live in an old fogy's trailer park have mush for brains, and I think he's a nitwit. At one point, he bragged, "I've been in this business 30 years." How embarrassing for him! You'd think in 30 years, this minion of veracity, with his ample supply of writing and verbal skills, might have made something more of himself.
Please cancel my account. I do not desire or require your services any longer.
No sense bogging them down with details. That would only confuse them.